DISCLAIMER:  The content of and any views expressed in the following pages of this Web site are those of the authors (i.e. me!) and *not* those of my household, my township, or the w-w-internet community.  This website does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of anyone except the author;  all rights reserved;  any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental;  you may freely link to this site but you may not make a profit from it;  no substitutions allowed;  website is provided "as is" without any warranties; reader assumes full responsibility; some illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail;  terms are subject to change without notice;  this website is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted;  an equal opportunity website; read only with proper ventilation; slightly higher in Alaska and Hawaii;  hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat;  do not bend, fold, or mutilate;  your actual mileage may vary;  for a limited time only; quantities are also limited while supplies last;  read at your own risk;  keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children;  limit one-per-family please;  no money down;  no purchase necessary;  you need not be present to win;  some assembly required;  batteries not included;  action figures sold separately; employees must wash hands before returning to surf; please dispose of properly; for occasional use only;  no preservatives added;  slippery when wet;  sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken;  not liable for damages arising from  misuse or abuse;  for external use only;  if rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading;  avoid extreme temperatures and read in a cool dry place;  keep away from sparks and open flames;  avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes;  do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near a flammable or magnetic source; smoking this message could be hazardous to your health;  no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added;  surfing this site may impair ability to drive a car or operate heavy machinery; do not use bleach;  if ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician;  possible penalties for early withdrawal;  lay on ground, light fuse, get away; do *not* hold in hand; offer valid only at participating locations;  allow four to six weeks for delivery; tax and title extra; disclaimer does not cover misuse, neglect, or damage from improper surfing;  do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law;  other restrictions may apply, see webmeister for full details.